Blog

Job Interview

Fri, 4 Jul 2008 11:04:10 +1000

2 days ago i applied, online, for a volunteer position. yesterday they called and i didn't hear it. they left a message and said to call back to be interviewed. today i called back. this is the conversation that ensued.

me: hello?
them: yes  me: hello can i please have extension 330?
them: what is your name?
me: ryan cole.
them: hold on...sorry john is on the phone. can you call back another time?
me: well i'm just returning a call i received yesterday. the lady said to call back and be interviewed for the position i applied for.
them: what are you talking about?
me: well i
them: did we call you?
me: yes as i said i was returning a call and
them: have you interviewed yet?
me: no that's what the phone call was
them: why are you calling?
me: what?
them: have you applied for the job?
me: yes i applied online earlier this week and
them: have you been interviewed yet?
me: no as i said before i was returning a call yester
them: were you given a referral?
me: i don't believe so but i'm
them: well have you been interviewed yet?
me: no. listen what
them: i just don't understand why you are calling.
me: ok. 2 days ago i applied online for a volunteer position. yesterday someone from your office, i believe her name was bess
them: bess doesn't work here today. only on thursdays.
me: ok great. bess called me yesterday to interview me over the phone and
them: well then why are you calling?
me: i wasn't available when bess called so she left a message and said to call back.
them: for what?
me: she said to call back for an interview
them: but you haven't been interviewed yet.
me: yes i know, the message said to call back to either set one up or to be interviewed over the phone.
them: oh, so you haven't been interviewed down here yet and you want to set one up.
me: yes.
them: i understand. well we can't do one today.
me: ok. well what
them: would you like to come in for a face to face or over the phone?
me: over the phone is fine.
them: ok. how about tuesday at 11?
me: that's fine.
them: what's your mobile?
me: 04098
them: wait i'll just look it up on the computer. (long pause) is it, 04...uh...09........849..............966?
me: yes, that's my mobile number.
them: great. we'll call you at 11.
me: that's great.
them: well you'll have to call us because we can't call mobile phones for interviews.
me: that's fine. thank you.
click.

The Shampoo Effect

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:13:09 +1000

Hey all! Been a while since I’ve done one of these, let alone update the site, so I thought I would stop my busy day and say hi.

First, the shampoo effect. We all know the great boozing effect (scientifically proven of course) behind this. I’m trying out a new theory. Since I’ve moved out here I have yet to get a job or successfully pick up a girl. Through process of elimination I have determined that this is most likely due to my daily use of shampoo. From here on out, no more shampoo. Of course I’ll still use soap on my body (I realize my ENTIRE body is covered in hair so please note that I am only referring to hair on top of my head on top of my shoulders) This should be interesting considering I go running or Bikram every other day. Please note that this theory has nothing to do with the fact that we ran out of shampoo 2 weeks ago.

Everything else is going great. The video store guy up the street knows me by my first name. Apparently we have rented 114 videos since mid-April.

I hope you enjoy the 5, count’em, 5 new videos we posted of our trip to New Zealand, which leads me to my final story (one that I forgot to mention in my previous NZ blog).

So our first day in New Zealand we drove from the east to west coast to stay in the little town of Punakaiki, famous for their “pancake” rocks. I had been there a few years back and thought they were cool enough to revisit. For some reason Reynold thought that I was making us drive 2 hours in the wrong direction to go to a famous pancake house in New Zealand and was extremely confused (and probably a little disappointed) when the NZ version of IHOP turned out to be columns of limestone resembling pancake stacks. When asked how he could have possibly thought that I would have taken him that far out of the way to go to a specialty pancake restaurant, he said, “I thought you just really liked pancakes.” And unfortunately no pancakes were had that morning.

Not sure how funny that story is when read...oh well. Enjoy the new stuff!

Things here are rad

Wed, 14 May 2008 08:32:45 +1000

Ryan just got back from playing kissyface. He's gotten more dates than the rest of us combined. Hopefully he posts pictures of himself in his cute little hat that gets all the ladies.

Things here are rad. We finally figured out when garbage day is, we're all moved in, and Stu shaved off his stupid mustache/beard - meaning Ryan and I get a free night out on the town, and we get to pick what the other two bozos have to wear for the evening.

And in the greatest news ever, Sydney has it's own version of Bay to Breakers call the Bridge to something. (It's not really called the Bridge to something. It's like Bay : Breakers as Bridge : ???) Throw out any costume ideas for four good looking, in-shape, strapping young gentlemen.

Happy Mother's Day!

Things I Have Come to Love About Australia

Wed, 7 May 2008 23:22:19 +1000

Having been here for 92 days I thought I would go through some of the things that make Sydney the balls.

My Scooter. It’s ok to laugh at this point but my scooter is f-ing awesome. First, I look awesome on it. Second, I never have to worry about parking or gas. It gets like 20km to the liter, although I have no idea what that means. Third, it makes me feel like I’m riding one of those speeder bikes in Return of the Jedi. Yeah, I’m a dork. Get over it. And finally, the chicks dig it. I haven’t actually road tested that one yet (pun definitely intended), but I’m pretty sure they dig it.

Beer. The bottom of the line beer here is way better than the crap beer of the states, except for PBR with lime. Plus most beers are the equivalent of 1.5-1.8 beers so you get more for your dollar, which is pretty much at the same as the US dollar. Another interesting thing to note is that cocktails out here suck and are really expensive.

Icebergs. It’s a pool at the beach. Sounds pretty stupid right? Wrong. It’s dope. See that all those people on the steps in the picture? That’s pretty much where I spend my weekend. It usually consists of lying down, falling asleep, jumping in the ocean, falling asleep, eating a sandwich and drinking a long black, and falling asleep.

Movember. I just found out about this and it might be the best thing ever. Starting on November 1st, all of the guys in Australia start growing their mustaches for the entire month. I’m not kidding. They even get their friends to sponsor them to grow it to raise money for the Prostate Cancer Foundation. I really just love any excuse not to shave but this is actually legit.
http://www.movember.com/

My roommates. It’s hard to find 4 idiots that travel well together. After having spent 2 months in 1 room (only 2 beds!!!) and then a week in possibly the world’s worst smelling car together I can honestly say that we tested ourselves to the limit of each other. Granted we do don’t talk to each other anymore, but I still think there is a common respect for one another.

That’s all I got. Up your bum!

New Zealand Rocks... Sandflies Suck

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:30:41 +1000

Well we’re back from our week long “camping” trip through the south island of New Zealand. Its bittersweet to be home but at least now I don’t have to spend 4 hours a day smelling 3 other dudes that haven’t showered in days. That car smelled foul. Seriously. It was bad

Since I can’t make one of those sweet Indiana Jones maps with the red lines (you dorks know what I’m talking about) I’ll just give you my top ten of the trip.

Literally getting brain freeze after drinking and dunking my head in fresh glacier water.
Navigating through a pitch black rainforest in search of glow worms.
Playing frisbee golf along the lake in Queenstown.
Running across the swing bridges on the way up to Mt. Cook.
Riding bikes up the river from Lake Wanaka and looking at the changing (it’s fall here).
Finally learning the difference between a sound and fiord.
Getting flipped around by Reynold on the Queenstown luge.
Falling asleep under the stars and Reynold’s flatulence.
Waking up and hearing Stu and Phi reenacting scenes from “Brokeback Mountain” in their tent.
Speights (Gold Medal, Pilsener, & Pale Ale).

Coming back from that empty beach we found, literally, 800 sandflies in our car. It turns out that there is an insect more annoying than the mosquito. These things bite...hard. My legs currently look like I got chicken pox (insert shingles joke here). Someone told me that when they bite they apparently lay eggs under your skin and that’s why they itch so much. I’m calling bullshit and keeping my fingers crossed.

But yeah, the sound island of NZ totally rules and I must say that their beer is far superior to Australia’s (or at least Sydney’s). Probably won’t be making it back anytime soon but it was definitely good to be out in the mountains again.

Stay my next adventure...figure out how to live for the next 7 weeks on $300.

Blogeroo

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 15:54:28 +1100

so after an eventful week of moving into our new place and hanging out with the sisters (jordan and kelsey) it is back to doing random chores and trying to figure out the job situation (which is a little goofy at the moment). jordan and kelsey were hilarious...i.e. friday night we all went to the waratahs v. cheetahs rugby game. started at our new apartment had a couple of beers and then walked to the stadium. once at the stadium we proceeded to drink beers until we were all completely housed. considering that you can get four beers per person each time you go to the bar and they never cut you off we ended up being the last people in the stadium and getting escorted out in a scene that involved...jordan scrunching her face up, kelsey chugging beers, reynold and michael antico (one of reynold's superiors) wrestling, phi running full speed into a wall, and ryan talking gibberish really loudly. we walked back to our place where we continued to drink, (mom don't read this part) jordan began to throw up, and dad ended up taking the pukers (kelsey became involved later in the night) back home. (okay mom you can read again) all in all it was pretty hilarious and we probably should have eaten more than just breakfast at 9am that day.

ryan, jordan, kelsey, and i are now thuper duper thwimmers so if anybody wants to swim some laps bring it on. we head to new zealand tomorrow...four one-way tickets, four sleeping bags, two tents, one log of chew, four ponchos, and a video camera. should be sweet.....

Bloughts

Wed, 2 Apr 2008 15:22:10 +1100

This will basically be filled with nonsense emails that we send to each other that we think are funny. Hopefully you do too...

Stu
1:44am, 1/4/08
phi just fell down the stairs...phi walked into a glass sliding door...ryan just ate a jumbo bag of peanut m&m's while in bed...reynold is apparently making the best sandwich ever...phi hates canadians...reynold eats and drinks everything...

Stu
3:50pm, 2/19/08
apparently every twilight bats migrate across the city from the botanical gardens to centennial park. my feet really do stink. ryan sits down to pee. phi has a tapeworm.

Phi
11:55pm, 2/17/08
“What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison? You wash your hands in a bison.”

Stu
3:07pm, 2/16/08
“phi just smashed his entire foot on the ottoman. ryan doesn't actually like fish and chips. i am awesome.”

Sorry for the delay!

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:38:09 +1100

Well the site has finally been updated for the first time since February 1st. The easiest way to explain this is to just say it was due to “technical difficulties.” Anyway, now we have a real internet connection and can actually go about making regular updates. To be fair, we were writing blogs up until a month ago, we just couldn’t publish them.

The good news is that we have finally found a place to live and (mostly) have jobs.

Again, thanks for bearing with us on this and we hope you enjoy the blogs, pics, and videos!

Oh, and also there’s a chance we might have to leave the country for a week. Seriously.

D. Rod

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 09:53:44 +1100

so it's been a while, hard to keep up with writing these things when they're not getting posted. the main purpose of this one is to brag that Reynold and myself took shots with Dennis Rodman last night in the VIP room of a bar/club in Kings Cross. Check that - he bought us shots.

Other than that, we started work, found a place, and have to go to Fiji for a week.

Up Your Bum

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:16:37 +1100

Alright so 3 weeks into this and we're doing pretty well. I've only flown off of my scooter once, and yes I did look pretty awesome doing it (thanks Stu). Also apparently chest hair works as well as SPF 15, the only thing you have to remember is to put suntan lotion on the skin next to it that is not completely covered in hair. I don't even know how to describe what it looks like but I’m pretty sure it will be the next ozzie trend.

Before I came here I was told that people (girls especially) dug the American accent. I cannot say that I have found that to be true. They do like Obama though (go Pete!).

In our search for the perfect house/terrace/apartment, we have found some amazing (probably not the right word) candidates. I have yet to decide between the old "massage" parlor or the former army barrack. I think I'll probably pick the barrack since that means I would get to live in the old caves that connect it to the base across the street. Another highlight was the terrace that had a bath/hot tub that you could watch TV in with full surround sound. There was also a waterfall in the backyard (not as uncommon as you might think actually).

If things really work out (and by the time you read this you will have known whether or not they did) I'm going to live in a sweet attic. Granted I'll have to climb up a super sketchy ladder every night to go to bed, but I'll still have the biggest "room" in the house. And when I say sketchy ladder, please take into consider my first Lair tent ladder, as well as the one I built for my first bed in Brooklyn. So yeah, this one tops the list.

Well I've babbled on enough for a while. I’ll leave you with this. If someone ever tells you that there's an old Australian toast, "Up your bum," don't believe them. Not only has no one ever heard it, but they apparently get very offended when you try to use it. Especially if you keep on using it. Just a little hint.